I don’t know where to begin, so I’ll begin with 1000 words on elephants. Should be simple enough. I know a thing or two about elephants. At least 1000 words’ worth. Let’s start. There are two kinds of elephants: Asian and African. Kinds? I suppose. Were they the same group…

An important announcement Thank you baseball fans, big and small, for joining us at beeaaaauuutiful CORPRICORP stadium. Welcome to Hot Dog Night with yooooour Bobtown Blobfish! Before we begin tonight’s game, the Bobtown Bobfish have a very important announcement. Please listen carefully. We’ve received some important news about the hot…

A few ideas, of unclear value, that you may or may not want to try — In quarantine, we’re experiencing a communal situation in different ways. Some of us might be flying solo and achingly lonely, while others might have a bunch of crappy roommates and would give away their last roll of Charmin for five minutes alone. Also, teenagers. I’m so sorry, teenagers. I’m ‌a‌…

OMG! An earthquake is coming! … Sometime in the next few hundred years! Don’t be caught with your snacks out. — As someone who lives in Portland, Oregon, I think about The Big One. A lot. I think about it when I go over bridges. I think about it when California or Alaska has an earthquake, or whenever I’m at the beach. But when you read those articles about getting ready…

Save that cash, but save that time, too. Like to save money? Me too! But not at the expense of your time? Me neither! Interested in using coupons to save money on groceries and other sundries, but don’t know if it’s worth it? I feel you, my friend. I started…